I wish the word "alone" meant something else.
Because its nice unlike what people think.
I like to be alone. I don't like to care about...

starting conversations,
how to put on the right mask at the correct time,
whether or not I'm saying the right things.

society's given the word such a negative connotation although its actually quite wonderful. They make it sound as though its a bad thing only for loners and losers, when its actually a great situation for reflection and inspiration.


This year, I stayed true to myself and judging from the way others treat me, I must be a weirdo. Its made me a little depressed these days, but I believe there must be somebody out there who actually accepts that. I'm struggling with trying to understand how people view me, and why they are treating me differently at different times. I wish I were my own mirror.

There isn't any need for people to understand me anyway, people only care about how "normal" you are, how "fun", how you're able to fit into the "social circle" and how you can make them happy and perhaps not irritate or piss them off. & perhaps how well you can sustain a conversation without saying anything "weird".

Do I actually care? Maybe I do. That's why I kept quiet.

To hell with fitting in.